


Breathing Smoke

by WrapUpMyBones



Category: Twenty One Pilots, Tyler Joseph - Fandom, josh dun - Fandom, joshler - Fandom
Genre: BoyxBoy, Fire, M/M, Sad, Supernatural - Freeform, i'm not really good at this whole tag thing, powers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-08-18 10:50:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 3,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8159528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrapUpMyBones/pseuds/WrapUpMyBones
Summary: i couldn't do this didn't he understand. fire lives in my chest, smoke in my lungs. one day i could explode and i don't want him to be a casualty::sad actions::::sad thoughts::::trigger warning::::sentence fragments::





	1. -1

::cursed::

that's what he is. cursed since birth. anxiety ridden up the wall. out of control. he's out of control.


	2. 0

::running::

it was his favorite thing to do. josh that is. running away from his problems. away from the world. right now he was running from a panic attack. hiding away from everything. this isn't about him no. we look at someone different now. a boy who is a music lover. a boy with coffee brown eyes. 

~

"ah mr. joseph." a teacher says loudly   
"I see you need the bathroom. again." Rolling his eyes the teacher points to the door.   
"mr. joseph make it quick wouldn't want you missing class now would we." the teacher's fading voice following him out the door. 

quickly moving towards the bathroom. he hears someone, someone crying. opening the stall to see a boy with pretty pastel pink hair. he's the one crying.


	3. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "why would I hurt you?"

tyler

::tears::

they plummeted to the lap of the pastel boy. finally noticing i was there pastel lifts his head to mine. 

"what are you doing man get out of my stall!" red. that's the first thing I notice about his eyes. cracked and broke. his tears didn't leave behind a trail. strange.   
"um. i-i'm sorry i-i didn't mean to yell. d-don't hurt me p-please." they come back, the tears, as if they never left. his breathing picks up. his watery brown eyes meet mine.

"why would I hurt you?" cocking my head sideways. "come on let's get you cleaned up." slowly I grab his hand, his callused but soft overly warm hand, this caused him to flinch.   
"sorry." I mumble. he gets up and heads to the sink. 

"josh." pastel boy whispers.   
"tyler." I whisper back.


	4. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a rosy pink dashes across his cheeks

tyler 

::blush::

the more I look at him the more I notice. his arms slightly built. smooth light skin. clean shaven. cute nose with a sliver ring through it. his eyes are-

josh looks me in the eyes using the mirror. a rosy pink dashes across his cheeks.   
"thanks." is the first thing he says. I smile.   
"sorry for barging in like that." sheepishly running my hands through my hair.   
"it's cool. don't worry about it." his blush still in tack.


	5. 3

josh 

::worry::

tyler.   
for some odd reason he stays with me. we sit in silence for a little. it's nice. until the bell. it screams throughout the small bathroom.   
"well I should probably get going." with that he walked out of the bathroom. 

I grab my books which are laying on the cold gray tile the school has. walking to my next class is fine. people pass not looking at me. I just can't help but worry a little bit.   
I hope I see tyler again.


	6. 4

tyler 

::safe::

"hey, tyler where have you been?" brendon asks. i couldn't help but not want to tell him. like meeting josh was my own little secret.   
"I was just in the bathroom." we walk into history class. 

I take my seat and wait.   
josh.   
he's in this class. my class. how didn't I know this. he looks at me. josh sends a small shy wave my way. I wave back. 

"what was that all about?" brendon nudes my arm. luckily the teacher walks in making everyone go quite. 

~  
I wanted to make sure josh was safe. something in the back of my mind kept tugging me.   
~

"hey. dude you never told me what was with that wave josh dun gave you." the last bell has rung. continuing walking.   
"it was nothing. I saw him early and I guess he recognized me." I shrug my shoulders.   
"I thought you might like to know that he lives down the rode from my house. the last one on the street." he winks at me as he gets into his car.


	7. 5

tyler 

::ok::

I reach his porch. it hits me. I'm standing on the porch of a guy I just met. to see if he's ok. 

I raise my hand to knock only for the door to open and to pushed out of the way by a suitcase.   
"oh dear." a woman says to me kindly. "and who might you be young man?"

"I'm josh's friend from school." a smile spread across her face. 

"he's up in his room. third one down."   
she points me up.   
"thanks."  
"no thank you." 

past the living room and up the stairs.   
first room.   
second room.   
third room. 

i knock on this door. no answer. trying again still no answer.   
"I'm coming mom, give me a second." a voice yells from the other side.   
the door opens wide. a half dressed josh standing in the frame. 

"oh."   
a soft "hi." slips passed my lips.   
"ok."


	8. 6

tyler 

::stare::

I couldn't help but notice. sweat glazed his chest. pants hung lower then what should be legal. pink hair ruffled up. light blue doctors mask rested at the base of his neck. 

"tyler. did you need something?" that snaps me out of my daze.   
"um. I just wanted to make sure you were ok. from earlier." he stares at me.   
"yeah I'm fine. sorry if I freaked you out." his gaze drops down to the floor. 

the air is tight. making it hard to breathe. awkward rings though my head like being on the phone with a relative to long. 

"so what are you up to at the moment." I ask pointing at the doctors mask.   
"repainting my room. parents won't help it will only get done if I do it." he lifts up a paint brush. 

"can I help?"  
"if you want." he hands me a brush.


	9. 7

josh

::room::

he asked to help. the boy with coffee brown eyes and light fluffy hair asked to help paint my room. looking over his eyes reach mine. we smile.   
it's nice. 

"so why don't your parents help?" he questions.   
"I have a feeling you like questions." I tease.   
"I have a feeling you don't like answering them." pointing at me a small laugh escapes his pink lips. nodding my head I turn back to painting.   
"assuming you don't just know where my bed room is." more smiles. "I'm guessing my mom   
told you where I was. you saw the suitcases?" he shakes his head slowly. "they have business trips. they work at the same company and it makes them travel all over. i practically live on my own." understanding fills his eyes.

~

"did you want something to eat." I ask heading to the fridge pulling out ham and cheese with two Sprites.   
"thanks. for helping."   
"thanks for letting me help."


	10. 8

tyler 

::nothing::

i left. after we ate. it was good. walking home just makes me think more. we should hang out more. I haven't had a good time like that in awhile. 

~

"why are you so smiley?" moms they can just know when something changes.   
"it's nothing mom."   
"is it the same nothing that made you come home late?" her eyebrow raised.   
"yes." sighing in defeat.


	11. 9

josh

::nightmare::

"hey?" his smile bright.   
"yes tyler." i smile back.  
"nothing I just wanted to hear your voice." flowers weave in and out of our hair.   
my finger tips running along the small patch of daisies, that belongs to something much bigger. bright blue sky. drifting clouds and the sun. 

it's hot. to hot for a normal sunny day. 

"ouch JOSH."   
looking down a fire. small but growing larger. redder. hotter. coming from my finger tips. tyler's arms turning crispy black. it spreads, the fire, up his face consuming everything. 

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME JOSH. THIS IS YOUR FAULT. YOU DID THIS TO ME." he screams at me. hate in his throat. 

"no."

~

darkness. then the out line of my room. it was just a dream. just a nightmare. breathe.   
"I'm sorry." talking to dream tyler. i caused him pain.


	12. 10

tyler 

::eyes::

for some reason I really wanted to see josh again. 

~

"hey tyler. so what time did you get home from josh's house?" brendon winks at me.   
"a normal time."   
"so you did go over there. knew it." his smile bright.   
"shut up."   
"original." a smirk still dancing at his lips.

~ 

classes passed by slowly. then lunch hits. people crowding one room. just trying to get food.   
I notice pink pastel hair that could only belong to josh. a smile on my lips. 

he sees me.   
I wave.   
he looks away. 

what was that about? I know we aren't best friends but. I don't know what I was expecting. he sees me again. this time I see that around his eyes are dark circles. stress and worry are held there. 

I hope he's ok.


	13. 11

josh

::calm::

I've been dodging tyler all day. that nightmare won't leave. even with morning here. I see him burning over and over. I hear him yelling, screaming in pain. I can't stop it. it's all my fault. 

~

history.  
the second to last class of the day.  
taking my seat I keep my eyes on my desk. 

"hello class." Mr. Peters announces.  
"please take out the reading from last night and." looking around the room his gaze lands on me. "josh. can you tell me what you read last night."

heart speeds up. breathing gets hard. I shake my head.  
"oh so you didn't read it again. mr. dun I'm really getting tired of you not doing your work. why? do you just not care." he rubs his face. 

anger hits me. i clench my fist.  
just breathing isn't enough. 

my hands heat up. warmer and warmer. 

flames.

people start screaming.  
turning Mr. Peters sees the fire a blaze in the trash can.  
"what the-" he grabs the fire extinguisher.  
"ok class that's over. please take your seats again and we will begin class."  
he forgets all about yelling at me but I don't. 

running. as quickly as possible I get out of that class room.  
I head toward the bathroom. 

'calm down.'  
'breathe.'  
'calm down.'

the cool tile rubs against my back.  
I hide under the sink.  
I wish I wasn't like this.  
I wish I wasn't ready to self destruct.  
I wish I wasn't a freak. I wish I didn't have the power to control  
fire.


	14. 12

tyler 

::hey::

the trash was on fire.   
then josh ran out.   
no one stopped him. 

I ran after him. 

the bathroom is my first thought.   
he's under the sinks. 

"hey."   
he looks at me. fear cross his eyes. I don't think it was fear of me.   
"we should really stop meeting like this." I smile at him. josh doesn't budge. 

if he won't move. i will.   
I slide under with him.  
my shoulder touches his it's super warm. he moves away from me and that's fine. 

"it's ok."  
"I wish." he mumbles.


	15. 13

josh

::talk::

tyler stays with me. again.   
why me?

I try to speak to say anything. I just open and close my mouth several times.   
"what's your favorite color?" tyler starts. I look over only to see general curiosity.  
"blue."   
"why?"  
"it's everything I wish I could be."

~

no one comes looking for us. to my relief.    
10  
20   
30 minutes pass. all we do is talk. only trivial things but that's ok.   
the bell rings.  
"you can go if you want to, I'm staying."   
"if you're staying I'm staying."   
"why?"  
"I don't really know." we stare up at the pipes as if there is a beautiful night sky filled with stars. "it just feels right."


	16. 14

tyler 

::coffee::

I can't believe how long we were laying under sinks.  
"thanks for staying with me. again." josh says starring his shoes. 

"let's go somewhere. do something."   
"like what?"  
"I know a sick coffee shop."  
"it's sick?"  
"the sickest." we laugh as we walk out of school. 

~  
I  open the door of Cups of Sugar for josh. we take seats.   
we sit on chairs that leave our feet to dangle. josh looks a bit better then before. his eyes scan the shop. a smile breaks out into his face.  
"well you where right. this place is sick." he says just as the door to the shop opens a bell dinging. 

"here i never gave you my number." i hand josh a small piece of paper. 

"well look at what we have here boys." three guys my age walk over to the table. the leader a light blonde hair guy it's spiked up. blue eyes filled with hate.   
"hey josh we missed you in school today." a smug smile hangs off his lips.   
the two other guys laugh. 

"just go away brent." josh says.   
"who's going to make me." brent challenges. he grabs josh's arm. his two lackeys stiffen. "don't make this hard on yourself josh."

"come on josh lets go." he gets up and follows me out the door.  
we get in the car. rough breathing fills the car. 

"I-i-i'm s-sorry ty-tyler."   
"josh calm down, just breathe with me. don't speak." he listens. the harsh breathing has stopped.   
no one speaks while heading back to his house.


	17. 15

trigger warning 

josh 

::pain::

i'm so ashamed. i can't even stand up for myself without having a panic attack.   
tyler just looks at me with concern. i don't deserve to be worried about. 

"josh are you ok?"  
"yeah i'm fine." i rest my head on the window. the rest of the world moving so fast.  
tyler slows when he spots my house. "well this is me."  
he looks at me with worried eyes.   
"i'll see you at school."  
"bye, ty." my face heats up and i run inside. 

walking upstairs i head straight to bed. 

~

the day skipped by which is fine by me. 

"hey josh do you want to come over my house?" tyler says.   
"i will later but i have to stay after school, my grades aren't so good in math."  
"cool see you then." his smile lights up the hallway as he waves good bye. i can't help but smile back. 

~  
finally walking out of school.   
"josh. it's nice to see you again. where's your friend? did he leave you like everyone else has." brent. 

"leave tyler alone."   
"what you're going to stop me." his friends stand right behind him. "get him boys."

Slam. up against the lockers. hands locked around my wrist.   
"no one will ever stay with a freak like you. your mom and dad go on "business trips" just to get away from you." hit one.   
my stomach.   
vomit rises. 

"how could he even stand you for this long." he continues. hit two.   
my left ribs.   
jay and mike's grip tighten on my arm. i need to get out. someone help. 

"tyler will soon realize how much of a freak you are, and he will leave." hit three.   
my right ribs.   
pain and fear. my only friends.   
"no he won't." i hopelessly protest. hit four.   
left ribs.   
crack. 

"how could anyone love you?" he spits hate. "answer me josh."   
i close my eyes try to block out the pain. smack. his back hand hits my thigh. over and over. tears slip out.   
"you're doing this to yourself. all you have to do is answer."   
"no one could ever want me." it's just a whisper but i know he heard. jay and mike let go. i fall to the ground. 

grabbing my hair brent whispers "you ever tell anyone we did this, it won't be you we go after it will be tyler. got it." 

"yeah."   
they leave silently. 

~  
home.   
i can't believe how pathetic i am. i can't even stand up for myself. heat rises.   
my hand prints burns into the kitchen table. great. 

text: tyler   
i can't come over homework and stuff sorry. see you at school

i'm so tired 

~  
hi everyone i hope this chapter was good i haven't been feeling to well about my writing lately especially with this chapter. i wanted to say that you should never be getting hurt by anyone and that it's not your fault no matter what they say. if anyone ever wants to talk just message me 

stay alive  
|-/


	18. 16

tyler

::help::

text: from josh  
i can't come over homework and stuff sorry. see you at school

oh

~

"tyler get up or you'll be late for school." a voice fills my head. a woman's "tyler now." mom.   
"i'm up."

head downstairs.   
eat.   
get changed.   
school.   
repeat. 

~

"hey tyler. we need to go out." brendon says.   
"by that you mean getting drunk."   
"duh."

i wave to josh as he walks passed the car. he smiles and continues limping?  
he's holding his side and slowly walking into the building. 

"hey is josh ok?" brendon breaks my thoughts.   
"i hope so."

~

all day josh has been limping, holding his side. it's hard not to worry. 

lunch.   
"hey are you ok?"   
"yeah i'm fine don't worry about me ty."   
he's fine. sure. 

~  
it's getting worse i can see it. the wincing.   
the pain in his eyes.   
josh why won't you tell me. 

~

as soon as the last bell rings i rush to josh's locker. 

"tell me." confusion lay upon his face.   
"what do you mean?"  
"i've seen you limping and wincing all day."   
"stay out of my business tyler." red hot anger. 

grabbing him by the arm causes him to wince and pull away from me. it's to late though. dark blue and purple marks wrap around his wrist. this time pulling his black hoodie i shove him in my car.   
"what?"  
"my mom can help since you're apparently not going to the hospital for some reason."

the drive is quiet and unappreciated. i don't like being like this. it's as if we are ships passing silently though the night. 

~

"let me see." parking the car outside the house.   
"what do you mean?"  
"i've seen you holding your side all day, please let me help." his black hoodie lifts off of his toned chest. 

black.   
purple.   
dark blue.   
red. 

all of these colors littering his skin.   
wrapping and growing up his chest like vines on an old house. 

"josh."  
"no. i wont tell you."  
"why?" 

nothing but silence. 

~

"so is someone going to tell me what happened?" my mom wouldn't let this go. josh just got up after she gave him ice.   
"is he being hit at home? tyler you would tell me right?"   
"i would but he didn't tell me. his parents are out of town so it's not them. how do i help him, mom?"


	19. 17

josh

::understand::

 

i had to get away. from the sad pity filled glances.   
i'm thankful for the ice pack tyler's mom gave me. the pain is numb finally.

tyler walks into the room.   
pity  
concern  
sadness   
all flash through his eyes.

"can you just stop."  
"stop what?"  
"the looks, the pity i don't want it."  
"i'm just trying to help to understand."  
"you don't even know me."

slowing sitting down pain stabs at me.   
"at least let me try." he says taking the seat right next to me.


	20. 18

josh

::wind::

 

yellow green marks still litter across my chest and up my side. fading away. finally. a month of waiting. it will be good once they are gone no longer carrying my weakness. 

~   
grabbing my school things i head outside.   
the warmth of the car is welcomed after a cold november wind caught me.   
turning to see tyler, he is smiling.   
his smile is perfect. 

"ready for school."  
"i'd rather go back to bed."  
"me too."

we drive off tyler's beautiful smile still in place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)   
> it has begun   
> |-/


	21. 19

josh

::nervous::

"josh?"  
"yeah."  
"are you going to the football game this weekend?"  
"i wasn't planning on it. i'm not a sports person. why?"  
"w-would you go with m-me?"  
nervousness floats over tyler's face. it's cute. is he nervous because of me?

"you're asking me?"   
"i mean if you're busy, you don't have to go. you don't have to say yes. i mean if you want to go that's cool to.  
i'd like that."

laugh. i haven't laughed in what feels like years. i never expected tyler to ever be nervous. it's so adorable. 

a blush runs up his neck and clings to his cheeks.   
"yes, but only if you let me take us out for Ihop afterwards."  
he shakes his head and runs off.   
he turns to me and i can't help but think about the warm feeling he gives me.


	22. 20

tyler

::goosebumps::

"yes but only if you let me take us out for Ihop afterwards."  
goosebumps rise.   
i can't believe how many flips your stomach could do.   
did he really ask me out?  
butterflies.   
did i really say yes?

~

quickly i move to my third class of the day.   
"what's got you all happy?" brendon asks.   
"what do you mean?"   
"you haven't stopped smiling since third period."  
"and?"  
"it's now sixth." oops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know not the best chapter but please bare with me. thank you


	23. 21

josh

::ihop::

it's strange. sitting here with tyler.  
the air is crisp. deep, dark, and sharp.  
calming.

the bright lights hit the field. even though there's an uproar over a game it's peaceful. strange.  
being in a crowed, one single unit, and no one really knows you're there.

~  
"josh! we got the touchdown!" tyler yelling over everyone else.  
"is that good?"  
he just rolls his eyes. 

~  
the sun has set. the colors bending into a dark blue. people roll out in waves leaving the schools parking lot. we do the same.  
"i think you promised that i could take you to ihop."


	24. 22

tyler

::smile::

"you can't expect me to believe that."  
"it happened i promise." josh laughs.   
happiness shines through. the first smile i've seen from him in months.

~  
josh pays for the pancakes and we head outside.   
"lets do something else." josh says, "the night is young ty."  
"like what?"  
"oh i know." a light twinkles in his eyes.   
~  
josh drives humming to the music on the radio and tapping the steering wheel with one hand. the other hand resting on his lap.   
he's relaxed. 

~  
"here we are."  
"this is your house."  
"yes it is. come on." grabbing my hand he pulls me up to his room. and opens his window.   
"up here." 

we are up on a roof.   
the tiles at our backs.   
the stars staring down at us.   
a cool breeze patting my cheeks. 

"i love being up here." josh starts.  
he just looks up  
and i grab his hand and hold it in mine.   
it's warm. soft. nice.   
he doesn't pull away.   
i smile.


	25. 23

josh

::sleeping::

how could everything be so beautiful? how could he be-  
stop. just stop it. 

i know what i am and what could happen.   
i'm still a monster.   
but i can't pull my hand away from his. 

~

soft snores tumble out of tyler's mouth.   
his head rested against my shoulder. 

"hey tyler wake up." shaking him lightly.   
"wha- what's going on?"  
"you fell asleep, come on let's get you inside."

~

as soon as we get back into my room he falls onto my bed.   
breath steady.   
sleeping.

**Author's Note:**

> more chapters to come


End file.
